


Time Well Spent

by DeadGrrl



Category: Askewniverse, Dogma (1999)
Genre: Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 04:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7560235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadGrrl/pseuds/DeadGrrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Dogma, the prophets have their very own reckoning. Work In Progress.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Well Spent

**Author's Note:**

> Series/Sequel: No series, just my ongoing obsession with the slashy nature of two stoners.
> 
> Disclaimers: In concept, it all belongs to Kevin Smith - Jay, Silent Bob, and the Askewniverse. I'm just borrowing them for my own secret pleasures but promise to return them unharmed... but sated.
> 
> Note: Work In Progress
> 
> Parting Remark: "It's Smith's World... And I'm gonna slash it."

Jay watched Silent Bob as he helped Bethany. The Last Scion was no longer her title… Amazed at the odd events Jay shook his head.

The last few days had been like something out of on of those freaky sci-fi movies. End of the world and shit. It was almost too much to handle. Jay resigned himself to not thinking about it… or at least most of it.

The one moment that kept replaying in his head was when he met God. The fact that he was a woman, now that, that was just fucked up. Jay hadn't believed in much, but suspected that if he did, it would be that God was a force, not a person, but if that force were to take human form, they'd be a man... Mostly because of all the fucked up shit he'd seen in his young life, and was pretty sure that if a women was running things, it'd be better organized somehow.

That aside, when he looked into her eyes Jay caught a moment of infinity. And in that moment he saw himself and Bob. Every moment in their friendship was replayed. All the time spent together, back to back, and as Jay watched himself as a young child into an adult he realized that almost every moment had been spent with Bob.

Most importantly Jay saw all the moments he missed, due to circumstances. Like Bob holding him as he slept, stroking his back. Or Bob kissing his forehead after putting his drunken ass to bed. And Bob watching over him, eyes never leaving him. As he watched the dizzying passing of these moments he heard within his head the voice of God.

"Get it?"

Jay felt a calmness come over him. He got it. His lips curved in amazement. He felt strangely at peace.

God gave him a wide smile. And Jay knew. He knew what he had spent most of his life denying. He knew in that moment that his love for Bob was anything but unrequited. Again Jay heard the voice speak to him, "About damn time… Now make sure you do something about it!" Then God leaned forward and kissed his cheek, taking Jay's breath away.

Jay's eyes widened and he swayed dizzily as the Mentatron patted his shoulder. Still smiling Jay last thought before he pitched forward was "Dude, where is that Tubby Bitch…" and then he was unconscious.

By the time Jay came back around Bob and Bethany were back. As the heavenly assembly had high tailed it out of there, Jay and Silent Bob sat with Bethany on the church steps. Bethany announced she was pregnant. Jay pointed out a little known fact about the third trimester. Bob shook his head and Bethany scolded him Jay was smiling to himself and placed his hand on Bob's leg, happy to touch him. Bob looked at him quizzically. Jay just smiled at him.

"Dude, I know." Jay replied to the silent query and said nothing else as he winked at Bob. Bethany gave them a confused look.

"Are you two going to share?" She asked.

Bob's mouth dropped open in shock. Moments later he replied "No," and got up and left in a hurry.

Bethany frowned and looked at Jay who was still smiling.

"What just happened?" she asked.

Jay replied as he watched Bob disappear around a corner. "Bob just realized that he isn't going to be able to pine any longer."

"What the hell are you talking abut, Jay?"

"I'm gonna nail him." Jay's head bobbed in affirmation.

"Jay!" Bethany slapped his shoulder. Jay ignored her and continued.

"Do you have any idea how long that particular little thought has been dancing around in my head? Years, man, years. I've wanted Bob since 8th grade… wanted him so bad that I'd get hard just standing next to him. Wanted to kiss him so much that I'd have given anything to anyone just to make it happen. Needed to be near him so much that I kept it all of it inside, afraid that if I told him, I'd lose him." Jay paused and looked a Bethany,

"I have a 10 year hard on for the man, Bethany. And I have it on good authority that the Tubby Bitch has been holding out on me…"

"Oh… Jay." Bethany gave him a smile.

"I'm gonna fuck him until he can't see straight," Jay hissed as he got up, ready to stalk after the object of his desire.

"Jay! Jay! Wait!" Bethany stopped him by standing in front of him. "Hold on!"

Jay refocused on Bethany. 

"Jesus, Jay! Is that all you think with?" she asked angrily.

Jay looked at her and replied, "Huh?"

"Bob loves you, you idiot! If all he wanted to do was fuck you, you'd have done it already."

This gave Jay pause. He shook his head. The broad was trying to distract him from Silent Bob. "Nah, not possible" Jay responded, pushing past her.

Bethany rolled her eyes. "Of course it is!" She grabbed his arm as he tried to brush past her and spun him around to face her. 

"No." Jay shook his head again, trying to focus on thinking where Bob might have gone to, and if he had anymore condoms on him…

"You are the most difficult bastard! Yes it is, and yes he does." Bethany shook his shoulders trying to get him to focus.

Jay finally looked Bethany in the eyes. She was starting to piss him off, but she seemed to think this was important. "Wait. What? But, why?" he asked confused.

Bethany looked at him in disbelief. "Because he does, Jay. He loves you." She released his shoulders. "And you just want to fuck him," Bethany finished with disappointment.

Jay's jaw dropped open. "Wait… no, wait." He started only to be interrupted by Bethany again.

"That's all he is to you is just a fuck." Bethany concluded with disgust.

"Hold on a goddamn minute," Jay started as he placed a hand on her arm. Bethany looked at his hand in distaste, and shook him off.

Jay looked at her, his eyes conveying how difficult it was to say the words. "I love him, Bethany." Jay whispered and looked at his feet.

"But you said…" Bethany started.

"Well, hells yes, I want to fuck him! I've only wanted his ass since I was 13…" Jay scowled as he toed the pavement. "But I do love him, I just, just never thought he'd feel the same way." Jay concluded softly.

Bethany touched Jay's shoulder and tried to look into his eyes. "So… thinking a bit more clearly now?"

Jay glanced up to see her gentle smile. Realizing that he had just been played he rolled his eyes. "Man… yes." He smiled sheepishly.

" I was afraid you were going to pounce on him." Bethany replied.

Jay gave a wicked smile. "Yeah…"

"But you love him?"

Jay's smile softened, "Yeah."

Bethany placed a hand on Jay's cheek. "Then tell him that, before you pounce on him."

"Will do… Thanks Bethany," Jay replied.

She smiled and gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek. In doing so she was surprised when Jay's arms wrapped around her and he dipped her backward. Jay's tongue slipped into her mouth as she gave a surprised gasp. Her moan shocked herself more than Jay who continued to suck at her mouth for a few long moments. Then he broke the kiss off and righted her on her feet.

Dazed Bethany asked, swaying in place, "What the hell was that?"

Jay's hand steadied her as he replied "The last time I kiss a girl."

Bethany's mouth gave a little "oh," and she blinked at Jay. "Bob's a lucky man." 

Jay grinned again and replied, "Nah, I'm the lucky one. Now I just gotta find that tubby bitch and tell him…"

Bethany winced at the nickname. "Jay," she began and decided to let it go.

Jay stepped up to her and told her confidentially, "But he's *my* tubby bitch. And if I called him sweetheart, he'd have me locked up."

Bethany smiled in understanding. "Well, then by all means, go get that tubby bitch."

Jay grinned again and asked, "I plan to, directly. You gonna be okay and shit if I leave you here for a while?"

Touched Bethany replied, "Yes, Jay. I'll be fine Go talk with Bob."

Jay didn't move, but instead looked at Bethany for a long moment, chewing his bottom lip. Jay felt a strong sense of something… It was a previously untapped emotion. He thought it might be guilt, but that didn't make sense. Eyes widening he realized what it was … Responsibility. He didn't want to leave Bethany by herself, he couldn't. 

"I don't like this…" Jay shook his head. "Me and Bob take off and you being by yourself. That ain't right. Especially since you got a bun in the oven. Come on, I got an idea." Jay took Bethany's hand and led her off.

 

Walking into what appeared to be a convenience mart, Bethany took in some more of the local characters. Jay charged the second of two young men with Bethany's care.

"You'll keep an eye on her right?" Jay asked the young man. 

"Sure Jay." He responded, sounding slightly surprised.

"It's important, probably the most important thing your clerkin' ass will do in your entire life." Jay told him.

"I figured it must be, cause your sober." The man replied.

Jay rolled his eyes "Oh, yeah like that *never* happens. Nootch. Now, Randal agreed to take her with him after 9, and I'll be picking her up tomorrow…"

The man smiled at Jay, amused at his apparent concern. 'Yes, you told me, twice already."

"All right. I'm gonna go. And I'm warning you Dante don't let anything happen to her. She's like way important." Jay told him with what sounded like reverence in his voice.

"Dante?" Bethany piped up. "You're leaving my care to a man named Dante? After the day I had?"

Jay smirked, "I know. The irony is kinda thick, huh? Not to worry, Dante's a good guy. And if he isn't Silent Bob will pound his ass into the ground."

Dante rolled his eyes. "Please, no threats on behalf of your associate."

Jay extended his hand, "I'm sorry. You're an upstanding kinda dude. I appreciate what you're doing here’s for me. I owe you one." Dante shook the hand being offered, looking slightly shocked. 

Jay turned to Bethany, kissed her cheek and hugged her gently. "I'll see you tomorrow, you mutha…" Bethany laughed and watched Jay's thin form leave.

Dante shook his head as Jay walked out the door. Smiling at Bethany he extended his hand. "I've been charged with your care and well-being, yet Jay failed to introduce us. I'm Dante Hicks."

"Bethany Sloan."

"A woman of great importance, obviously."

"Oh?"

"Do you know that I have never seen Jay look so serious and sober in my entire life?"

"Really?"

"It's a fact. So I'm thinking that you must be very important to him and Bob for all of this special treatment. So either you're a Colombian Drug Princess on holiday or one of Bob's relatives… Speaking of Silent Bob, where is he?"

"Well, that’s who Jay is going to look for."

"Uh huh, lovers quarrel?"

Bethany carefully schooled her expression. "Oh, are they…" she trailed off.

Dante smiled, "Well, not officially from what I know. But I'm not blind, and I think it's apparent. The way Bob watches over Jay, and you can tell he loves him. Jay, well, he might be clueless yet… Funny how sometimes the one you love most is the last to know." Dante's thought was interrupted by Randal who walked through the door. Dante smiled at his friend, then frowned and asked, "What are you doing over here?"

Randal ignored the question and looked at Bethany, nodding his head "So Jay told me your pregnant. Whose kid is it?" 

"Randal…" Dante sighed at Randal's rudeness "I'm sure it's none of our business…"

Bethany laughed, "Oh, neither of those two…" she reassured the two clerks.


End file.
